Self Absorption and The New Paradigm
I am not actually sure if there is anyone on Earth who is not self-absorbed. Anyone with an ego will have some degree of self absorption. I did a quick internet search on the words “self absorbed” and all the results came back with detailed advice on how to deal with self-obsessed people, how terrible they are and how you must run away from them if you meet one.
Despite that, I have yet to meet someone who is not at least partially centered on their own self, life, priorities, work, relationship, body, experiences and the like. So, who are all these articles talking about?
I scratched a little more and found out that the words, “self-centered/absorbed”, are also used to describe mental illnesses where a person no longer sees, perceives, or cares about others at all. In other words, a person who is solely, and only concerned about their own feelings, thoughts, experiences, body, mind, etc., to the detriment of others. Other words that describe them are narcissistic, egocentric, self-serving, vain, self-indulgent, severely depressed, or conceited.
Although, to be fair, there are also plenty of articles and papers describing self-obsession as an individual who will turn any and all conversations to be about themselves without any mention of a mental illness but just as a quirk in personality.
Do you turn all conversations to be about you? Possibly, but maybe not at a conscious level. And probably not exclusively, but perhaps yes, exclusively. Let’s try a test:
When someone is talking, are you interested in their story or are you waiting for a gap in their barrage of words to get in and tell them your experience in similar situations?
Do you ask someone how they are doing so that when they stop talking you can tell them about your day?
Is everyone around you, who opens their mouth to speak, tell you extremely boring stuff?
Are you concerned with your personal growth and enlightenment?
Are you a lone wolf?
Did you try the whole, “service for others” gig and found it to be BS? And figured you had to take care of Numero Uno first?
Do you feel lonely?
Do you continuously interrupt your loved ones to show them funny/interesting stuff you found on the internet after hours of surfing and scrolling?
Do you mostly find conversations about your own life and self to be the most fascinating?
Have you given all to others and now it is time for yourself?
Do you believe that your 9-5 job has to be fulfilling, satisfying and something you feel passionate about?
Eleven questions that will indicate how self-absorbed you are. If you got all 11 to be yes, then you are 100% self-absorbed. 9 questions is 90 something %... etc..
Like all questionnaires, the percentages are nonsensical and limited to the questionnaire and not really translatable to real life. However, the above list does give a reasonable indication of where you are at with regards self-absorption. Let’s take a look to see what this means when it comes to being a high-frequency being constructing the new paradigm.
Well, the New Paradigm does not really create itself with self-absorption. In other words, it is not compatible with self-absorbed programs you may be running. Here is a little story that illustrates what I mean:
The Shamanshack outdoor walls needed painting. I grabbed a can of paint, a brush, a roller, found a wall that was in the shade and started painting. After about an hour, and a good percentage of the wall painted, one of the contractors walked past me. He stopped and said, “wow you must love painting.”
“Why do you say that?” I asked.
“Because you do it so well! That’s the best paint job I’ve seen in years. You must be passionate about it, and love doing it.”
I felt into myself and found that in fact, I did not like painting walls at all.
“No,” I answered, “I don’t like it at all.”
“Why are you doing it then?”
“Because it needs doing. But now that I found out I don’t like doing it, I am going to stop.”
I handed him the brushes and walked away.
Without the awareness that “I needed to like something to do it well, or at all” there was no discomfort or question about painting the walls that needed painting. Once he made it about me, and why the only reason to do it was that I needed to like it, I wasn’t able to do it anymore. If I continued, then the energies of martyrdom, frustration and anger would enter my field of emotional body.
As I walked away, he walked to the wall and started painting. Later on I checked the work and it was so bad, it had to be done again. By him. I told him, “you don’t have to like doing something to do it well. I believe in you. You’ve got this.” (Made it about him). He fixed the painting and did it well.
This little story is here to illustrate how a culture and society of self-absorbed individuals is created and how they are manipulated into doing things they don’t want to do. Have you ever heard someone say, “do what brings you joy and passion.” The likelihood is that a person could find very good work if they never had the requirement that external items were needed for their happiness. Happiness is an emotion and emotions are fleeting. If we look at work that is something geared for the satisfaction and happiness of the group you belong to, including yourself, and not something that needs to satisfy you and only you, the whole world opens up with possibilities.
When I was little, my grandmother, who was in her mid 80s at the time, was brushing the floor in a long corridor at my auntie’s house. My auntie walked in from work and asked in a loud voice, “mom! What are you doing with that brush?”
My grandmother looked at her and said, “I don’t understand the question.”
My auntie went into a lecture about how my grandmother’s welfare and wellbeing was more important than the floor and that she should stop immediately and sit and rest. That my grandmother had done enough work in her life already. In other words, my auntie was making the situation about herself, her own failings to keep a clean house. She felt bad that my grandmother was cleaning the floor.
For my grandmother, the floor was dirty, therefore it needed cleaning and anyone asking her what she was doing with the brush was being nonsensical. The important thing in my grandmother’s mind was to have clean floors for the family. Not that she was in her mid 80s and that it was not her job to make it happen.
The sad part of this story is that my grandmother did sit down, to make her daughter happy, and never got up again. My auntie, years later, told me that her biggest mistake in life had been to tell her mother she was not to do any work anymore. That her mother had lost her will to live after that and had gotten sick.
Self-absorption is a learned mechanism of disempowerment and highly disabling to a high-frequency society and co-creation of the Universe. Learn more about it and take steps to moderate or even remove it from your personality, no matter how little you have of it.