Larry and I had a big sneak attack by an alcoholic demon possession this week. And I use the word “demon” to mean nasty, negative entities. I don’t use the word in a religious way.
Normally, we have excellent interactions with the people we love and care for. Most of our friends and relatives are people who, if not interested in personal growth, are caring, loving, intelligent, and friendly people.
For a few weeks now, Larry has been planning to visit some close relatives in Alaska. The visit was important to him. Last time, he went with his kids via plane, train and boat, it’s quite the journey. But none were free schedule wise this time, so he invited me on a road trip, using our new big truck, our camper, and a couple thousand miles of Canadian wilderness to travel through. I love a good road trip so I said, “yes.”
He let his relatives know, he got an answer a week later, and he was told in no uncertain terms that I was not welcome in their home.
Apparently, I am a very bad person and will upset the elderly who might then have heart attacks in my presence. Quite the reputation.
There have been at least three interactions from the woman who has placed herself as “gatekeeper” for the couple we were visiting, which invariably begin with, “I don’t want to sound confrontational, or get into a fight or drama, but…” This is a classic example of “preemptive framing” or “disarming language” - used manipulatively to appear non-aggressive while preparing an attack. Then followed by a barrage of covert narcissistic sentences. We can identify a covert narcissism when the person weaves their words to appear victimized or gentle while manipulating and harming others.
Personally, I knew what was coming as soon as I heard those words, it is Psychology 101 and not hard to identify.
The hit came in unexpectedly and deep for Larry, however. He thought she was calling to talk about her latest work trip, which sounded to be fascinating, and was her texted reason for not having answered for a week; she was away.
His shock, surprise and upset was so big that it reached me like a hammer - which, of course, was the intent of the person involved.
We know better than to go into defense when we are attacked. There are no lives at stake here, and no one is in physical danger. We have learned to strengthen our cores, and use them as refuge in a sense to shield us from assaults like these and others. Yet the surprise was the shock delivery vehicle, and a lesson learned. Semper Paratus, the Coast Guard motto which Larry was trained with means ”always ready” is not active when dealing with loved ones.
I too was quite shocked at the strength of the energy woven into this person’s words, both over the phone and via texts.
Then I remembered that she finishes her days in a haze of alcohol.
And it all fell into place. At least the strength of the power behind the words was explained, not the words themselves which are hers.
The first attack came as a phone call. Larry took it in his stride - he knows better than to engage with others when he’s triggered and upset. And he was very, very shocked and upset.
The next attacks came in the form of texts. He answered, thanking the person for letting him know how they felt and that he would think about his trip. The “gatekeeper” then offered to pay for his entire trip if he travelled alone (not bringing me). This is a typical covert abuse tactic where the person is made to choose between two people he or she loves. And will be highly rewarded if they choose “the right person”.
The texts kept coming, with the same sentence to open the person up at an energetic level - “I am being friendly and caring, I am not going to fight…” then, yes, you got it - she would push the dagger in. The covert narcissism continued.
Of course, in her first ramblings I was an evil person who is here to harm. And the entity attached to this woman is right. My teachings do harm demons, as I do encourage people to stop drinking alcohol or taking recreational drugs. This will bring the person out of their alcoholic fog and usually they will then refuse the demon’s influence. And she knows I discourage alcohol consumption, which for her probably feels like I am negatively judging her. Most alcoholics see the world through a lens of “I, me and myself”, and everything in some way becomes specifically about them.
You have probably heard recovering addicts saying, “I am fighting my demons.” This is not figuratively speaking but is an actual account of what they are doing. At the same time, it is not spiritual bypassing where the person blames powerful external entities for their behavior so that they don’t have to address difficult personal issues. The person does need to do that work also, he or she is nobody’s victim, they receive a big kick of something in return for their possession.
Saying that this woman has demons driving the conflict is not done to minimize her responsibility or actions. She is the one who welcomed those entities and they do feed her and her needs. At the moment, she gets off on drama and conflict, and this situation was just too juicy for her to refuse or leave alone. She has been feeding off it for years now. As the attacks on my person failed, she then started attacking Larry himself, telling him how bad and hurtful he had been the past few months and years.
It has been a long time since these types of negative beings have reached us at any significant level through the people around us. At a superficial level, it is a non-issue. Words like these have come before from other people, and they wash off and are quickly discarded and forgotten.
In the case of these relatives, the attack repeats again, at an amplified level. This is called psychological abuse through emotional manipulation and covert narcissism. As Larry did not “react appropriately” in these people’s eyes by defending me or attacking them, he became the alleged bad person and aggressor.
The abuser, having failed to be acknowledged as a victim and their invitation to drama completely refused, then tried to get their emotional feed by moving her aggressor projection onto Larry himself.
These types of abusive behaviors only work with people who deeply care for the psychological abuser, as the entry to the attack is love itself.
This is the way it works: the people it works on have to be close at an emotional, loving level.
So, what do we do when these demonic beings come through an open door of love? Do we stop loving the person? Do we stop contact with them? Do we go and fight? Do we try to save them?
We are in charge of how we feel. Other people and beings, including demons, can attack, try to influence, and try to goad us into a drama filled with food for them. But we are ultimately the ones who are responsible - have the ability to respond - within our own emotional, mental, and other bodies.
What Larry did was to stop. He stopped answering because it became obvious that the answers, which were conciliatory, were not what these people wanted. Yet the feelings within Larry were still running strong, so the next step was to process those feelings. My exercise “Fear Processing Exercise” is excellent for processing upset, anger, and frustration too, so that’s the next step.
Step two is to process those nasty, sticky energies from our emotions and minds. And the step after that is to do something completely different. We are on that step now, and we will discuss what that looks like on our podcast.
One of the things that negative entities - including people - cannot continue their abuse under is disclosure. If the drama and abuse happen behind closed doors, in secret and confidential agreements, the abuser thrives. By shining the light of disclosure and pointing the eyes of the universe toward the abuser, they shrink and are not able to continue. I didn’t come up with this piece of enlightened wisdom, “sunlight as disinfectant” is a common psychological phrase used in narcissism recovery circles.
This situation brought some reality to what many lightworkers are going through these days. It is easy to forget how the dark side of the light/dark paradigm can affect us when most of our interactions are with people who are awake and high-frequency.
If you find yourself being goaded into a victim/aggressor cycle by family or close friends pushing on your love buttons, remember the steps:
Become aware that this is an invitation to feed the beast.
STOP
Process any sticky, nasty feelings, energies, and thoughts.
Do something else entirely.
What you don’t want to do is step into the “victim identity.” This aligns with the concept of “learned helplessness” in psychology. Nor the aggressor. When a person falls into the aggressor is also well known in psychology. It is called Reactive Abuse (also called provoked aggression or coercive provocation). We don’t play those games. It’s not for you, this battle, for you have chosen a new paradigm of joy-light-love and inspiration.
Video Podcast: Unholy Spirits: Not the Kind You Order at a Bar
Thank you. Very meaningful for me regarding two close family members whom I love.
Sorry Larry had to stop his trip. It sounded like you two would have had fun on your own