Wise Women and Birthing Mothers

During June 2024, our female three panelists, Dr Kara, Ashley and Iliana, took a trip to southern Washington to attend a workshop taught by a woman called Whapio. The workshop was partly about birthing, what we might call midwifery or doula training. I say “might call” because there was much more to this training than knowing and supporting the process of giving birth. The workshop was open to women only. 

A doula is a non-medical professional who provides emotional and physical support to a mother before, during, and after the birth of her child. The word “doula” comes from the Greek word “doulē,” meaning female helper or maidservant. A doula’s role is to advise, inform, and offer comfort to the mother, helping her feel safe and comfortable throughout the pregnancy, childbirth, and postpartum period.

There are no recognized certifications for doulas, and in fact anyone can call themselves a doula without having any training or experience at all. This fact often gets in the way of the women who have spent years training themselves in multiple disciplines to be of help during pregnancy and birth.

A midwife is a woman who is certified by allopathic medical institutions, and at the most basic level is a nurse who has trained in the “condition” of pregnancy and birth and can assist at a hospital or home birth under the supervision of a doctor.

Either way, women who have spent a lifetime educating themselves, training and practicing the skill of birthing babies, are still named and classified as not quite qualified to be called an expert, or master, of their field. They cannot legally be in charge of the pregnancy or birth. 

How to find the correct training that contains the expertise and skills needed to ensure a safe and amazing experience for the birthing couples. And then, how to practice those skills in a way that is considered “legal” in our power-over-others and profit based medical paradigm? These are questions I have asked myself since the birth of my first baby, Daniela, nearly 4 decades ago.

At the tender age of 18, I entered the hospital expecting good things, only to be told that they would be doing a forced abortion due to my congenital heart condition. The doctors were required, by law, to save their patient, me, and to do that they had to get rid of the pregnancy.

Long story short, from that moment I had to go to war during my pregnancy and the birth of my first baby. During labor itself, the women in the room, the allopathic trained midwives, tried to force procedures I did not want. They tried so hard, not listening to what I told them, that I stood up as the baby was crowning, and told them I was leaving. 

Realizing the conviction of my decision, and that they could not legally stop me from leaving the hospital, or bully me with shouting or medical authority, they negotiated an “if this happens, then we can do this other thing”. I agreed, and the birth continued.

Not exactly the best birthing experience. I’d like to say that things improved in my next two pregnancies and giving bir​​th, but no, they did not. It was a war each time. With medical staff, including midwives, and me at opposing ends of views, including a midwife entering the room and shouting at me for moaning too loudly as my baby was coming out. I had arrived half an hour earlier and they thought the baby wouldn’t arrive for another day or so. She did come in later crying and apologizing for her behavior. But it was done.

My point, just because a midwife is a woman, doesn’t mean she is in any way a wise woman. 

With my fourth baby, now age 39, and having gone around the block a few times with seven pregnancies and three live births behind me, I found a group of women in Sacramento who would support me in a home birth. At our first meeting, I saw that their hands were tied behind their back. And that, although they could be the main caretakers for me and the baby, they had to sign off to a doctor, required tests and hospital visits. And if those requirements were not met by me, they would not be able to support me during the pregnancy and birth because, if they did, they would lose their licenses.

I had to comply or be left to my own devices. 

Luckily for me, all was well and they were able to take me on as their client. During the birth, there was a deadly complication and these women saved my life.

I felt loved, cared for, safe, relaxed, and surrounded by “my” team. It was the only birthing experience I had where I was not at war. I will be forever grateful for these women. The father, and my adult son who lived with us at the time, were given classes and educated on what to do during the birth if they were not able to arrive in time. Plus what to do during the pregnancy itself, to support “mom”.  

When my first born, now an adult woman herself, started a family, these women took care of her and her two babies. I was present for both these births, and there was no war there, only love, light and a level of wisdom rarely found in our society.

They are, indeed, wise women.

When our Driving To The Rez expert panelist Ashley shared that she wanted to become a doula, or midwife, this is what I envisioned for her. This is what, to me, is the energy needed by a couple during the birth of their baby. The energy of real wisdom, support and happiness needed by the mom during her pregnancy and birthing. After much searching, she found Whapio and her team of Wise Women.

When reading about Whapio, it felt to me that she and her team embodied the energy I had experienced with my midwives in Sacramento. I wonder though, why do her retreats happen in a barn, and not in a palace.

During the second hour, we will delve deeply into the retreat experience and what this has meant for Iliana, Ashley and Dr Kara.